Breakfast in Ingleby

Double-yolkers all round.  Josephine’s breakfast eggs are all local produce and for some reason all the local hens are experiencing this strange double yolk phenomenon.  Local intelligence is blaming the low flying jets.  Ever since the jet fighters started their low-level exercises in this district the hens have been… well not exactly having kittens… but definitely affected.  It’s a mystery – and mystery breeds myth. In some areas of the country double eggs are seen as an omen of bad luck – hopefully, not here.  In other parts of the country the old wives’ tales have it as an omen of impending weddings or of pregnancy.  Who knows what to believe?  Luckily, I’m eating a kipper.

We had breakfast with the Kiwis but they had little to add to the double-yolk debate.  We did however learn that some members of their family’s had written books – including one self-help manual on ‘How to become a Millionaire’.  The rights to this book had been sold for a mere thirty thousand pounds though, which seems to suggest a flaw in the reasoning somewhere.

We did learn something of their lives, including the fact that they were robust enough to engage in what could only be described as ‘bottom humour’ over the breakfast table.  Frances, a game lass who looks as though she might arm-wrestle a rugby half-back while touching up her lipstick, explains that she’s having problems using her new gadget – yes, you guessed right, another GPS.  However, she added that it’s no real problem if you get lost on the Coast to Coast because you can always ask someone.  As she put it, “You’re never alone.  The minute ya drop ya draws to take a pee, some fella’ll come around the Corner!"

A Restless Night